Matthew Norton

Sin Miedo

Note: I originally wrote this entry on October 2nd, on paper, while I was on a flight to Istanbul. I had no access to my laptop during my time out of the country, and then I got sick… so now that it’s the 14th, I’ve finally transcribed everything, made minor edits, and added photos to the entry. I’ve kept the date of the entry as the 2nd, as that is the date on which I expressed these thoughts, and I figured that aligns better with the goals of this blog.

As I start this entry, I’m struck with difficulty, as before, for where to begin. With my pen in hand (on a flight to Istanbul, in fact! My first trip outside Sevilla/Spain), I have to somehow distill all the experience, emotions, and learnings from the past three and a half weeks into a reasonably-sized page to share, a handful of paragraphs. I have some ideas for things to highlight, and I believe the bullet-list format worked well last time, so I’ll do something similar. If I went into detail on every highlight, I’d probably have written a solid chapter of a book. With that in mind, I’d like to share some of the happenings here in Sevilla:

First of all, I just finished my fourth week of classes at the University of Seville, and the second week of courses with CIEE for the regular session. The US classes were a rollercoaster at first, since I was using the first few days to figure out which classes I’d continue with. I ended up going with the two courses I was originally thinking of taking anyway: operating systems (computer science/engineering) and differential geometry (math), but I’m glad I explored my options so I could be content with my choices. My US classes actually have no homework, i.e. nothing explicitly required to be turned in, so the learning is a lot more self-directed. I got to practice that this week as I studied for my first exam in OS, but I’m very much still navigating this style of coursework. In the end, I think it will help me develop some more self-agency, as I tend to be motivated largely by deadlines in school. I often want to do more or get things done earlier, but it takes some discipline and good time management (something I definitely need to improve). I hope to learn from some of my Spanish friends that certainly have better study habits than me 😅 (I actually drew this on the page).

My CIEE classes are different, being a lot more American-style with various assignments spread throughout the semester. Both my CIEE and US classes are longer as well, being 1h 40m and 2h respectively, each twice a week. I’m taking a class on the history of Islam, Judaism, and Christianity in the Iberian peninsula, and another class on Spanish cuisine and its history. Having always had a very STEM-oriented college career, it’s an adjustment taking two history-focused classes. But I’m learning a lot, as the subject has historically been a weak spot for me (see what I did there? Not funny? Well, uhh…) Along with all my classes being in Spanish, interacting with students at the University has been helpful for my Spanish. Although progress comes little-by-little, day-by-day, through constant effort, I feel like I’m noticing some differences. I have significantly less trouble communicating with my host mom. There’s certainly confusions sometimes, but I’ve improved a lot with my ability to talk around a word or phrase I don’t know, expressing it in different terms. It’s a skill I know I’ll continue to develop for a long time.

Before I get to the overview/highlights and photos, I wanted to write on something my math professor often says in lecture when people are confused or after asking questions to the class: “sin miedo,” which translates to “without fear” in English. A problem I’ve run into a lot lately (and throughout my time in Spain) is that fear can prevent me from doing a lot of things I would like to do to grow. Speaking with natives in my classes and introducing myself, asking to sit with someone at the cafeteria, asking a question in class, speaking with strangers. These are all things that already take courage normally, but their difficulty is magnified when I’m doing them in a second language that at times I don’t feel confident in. I could speak with another Spanish learner easily, but there’s this mental barrier when speaking with natives. Certainly, this has improved somewhat and will improve as I continue to learn more Spanish, but getting over this hurdle of speaking with natives is such an important one. Things are never as bad as I imagine them to be. Plus, this applies to much more than just Spanish, as often what thwarts growth most is our own mind. We tell ourselves these elaborate explanations for why something might not work out, or on the other end, we instinctively have such difficulty taking certain actions that we know deep down we would like to take, when in reality it’s almost certain it won’t be as bad as we think. Moving forward, I would like to internalize that message and live life a little more sin miedo. I know that doing so will help me make the most out of my time in Spain this semester.

Highlights

Without further ado, here are some highlights and photos since the last entry:

Rental Bike

Camilo Concert

Cathedral

Ronda

Torre de Oro

Muralla

Bridge

Run

Triana

Plaza de España

Exam

Relaxing in the quad

Antiquarium

View of Istanbul

Concluding thoughts

On this flight, I’ve tried to embrace the idea and act “sin miedo,” having conversations with the Spaniards in the seats next to me regardless of the errors I make, writing this entry without always having the clearest ideas and without wording things perfectly. The point is to put myself out there, speaking, writing, and doing more things with other people. I hope I can maintain this attitude as I continue with my time abroad.

Well thanks for reading up to this point! I’d love to hear about what’s going on for you (and/or your thoughts around the post), so once again, feel free to contact me through WhatsApp (my US number), Discord, or email. ¡Buen día!

P.S. to avoid redundancy, I’ve put the contact information on the About page.